The Pinkie Toe

I met a girl at church camp one year who’s pinkie toe wasn’t actually on her foot, it was up a couple inches on her leg. I thought that was very interesting. In a show I used to watch on Disney Channel, called, “Phil of the Future,” there is an episode where Phil is embarrassed to go on a class trip because they would all be barefoot as they stomp on the berries to squish them. He was embarrassed, because in the future, nobody had pinkie toes anymore. In an article I read from wiseGEEK explaining the purpose of a pinkie toe, the writers stated that the issue of the pinkie toe’s function is said to be “frequently called into question.” It does the same thing as the three other little toes between it and the big toe. The article goes on to say, “It has been suggested that its contribution to human movement is so minimal that evolution will cause it to shorten until it eventually disappears.” AKA, why nobody in the family from the future had pinkie toes.

1 Corinthians 12 says in the Amplified version, “For just as the body is one and yet has many parts, and all the parts, though many, form [only] one body, so it is with Christ.”

“If we’re all a part of the body, well, then, I’m just a useless pinkie toe!” my middle-school-self said in defeat.

“But the body depends on the pinkie toe for balance!” I was told in rebuttal to my argument. I went on to argue that the body is resilient and can adapt. The body doesn’t NEED a pinkie toe. The body can live without limbs and other extremities. A pinkie toe is the least of these.

The same fact that makes the pinkie toe interesting also makes it hurt super bad when you hit it on any furniture or doorways!

In writing this article, I learned a lot from an article on wiseGEEK. For instance, the pinkie toe has its own tendons. That’s cool. And it helps with balance when standing upright by spreading when planted, and it helps with balance when walking by curling downward to push off or grip the ground. Interesting. There were a whole lot of medical facts that I didn’t really care about, but if you want to read about the muscles that control it and all those other specifics, you can click here.

Reading now from the NIV, Paul says in 1 Corinthians 12, “(12) Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ. (14) Even so the body is not made up of one part but many.” Paul’s analogy here is not to be taken in the most literal sense. But he does go on to say, “(24b) But God has put the body together, giving greater honor to the parts that lacked it.” The body cannot function without the heart. It also needs the liver, the intestines, its stomach, and all the unseen parts to function well. It CAN function without a gallbladder, but not in the same way it once did.

My husband works in a hospital now. He sees stuff and tells me about it in generalities. People who function without various body parts or with adaptions made in the body is kind of astounding. The body is resilient, but, as Paul says in verse 26, “If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.” [Refer to image of the poor traumatized pinkie toe above.]

I, too, know about adaptations on a personal level. My muscles don’t work how they once did or were originally designed to. Even in my first year of college some nursing friends commented on the size difference between my legs. The muscles have stopped working in one, and are even deteriorating a little. The other leg, though, has been over-compensating for just as long (it big).

Sometimes a life is shortened by a missing part, sometimes it’s just made more difficult. But if we’re all members of the same body, it doesn’t even matter which specific part I am or you are. Let’s all group up as Christ’s body: The Church. When one part suffers, may we all suffer with it.

Blessings, friends!

Anna

Strength in My Thorns


I was chatting with a friend, L, the other day while our daughters fought – I mean, PLAYED together – in the adjoining room. We are annoyed by our thorns, by the unnecessary mom guilt, and by the issues our kids are already having. L’s oldest is 8, so she’s got a good 6 years on me, but I could offer solidarity. I saw the reason for her worry and her struggle. I only have one mini human to worry about, and because I need help taking care of her, there is always a team to help me. My thorn affords me that. L’s thorn affords her to see warning signs in her children of the very things that she struggled with as a child.

We all want our thorns gone. God can do that. He is Awesome and Compassionate and can do All Things. But what would life look like without my current thorns? I would be on my own, and my mental health would struggle as much as it did before I needed somebody to help me with my daughter. Could I relate with people as well? People see me walk in the room (slowly) using a walker, and their hearts are touched. Perhaps they remember a recovery having to walk with a walker or some other struggle that made them feel emotionally the way I physically walk. Lydia has the best empathy of a two-year-old I could ask for. She sees somebody walking with a walker, comments on the color of it, and tells the person walking that her mommy has a purple one. We walked out of Chick-Fil-A last week and saw an older lady walking with crutches. This is also familiar to Lydia, as I have walked with arm canes in the past. She just went right up and said a cheery “Hi!” to the woman who was making her way slowly to the door. I pray that my two-year-old made her day.

Nobody relates with another that has their life seemingly all together. I mean, nobody actually has it all together, but my physical limitations are an easier way to relate. I have dealt with Multiple Sclerosis for more than half my life. It is annoying and a terrible pain to deal with, but it has also made me who I am. A lot of the things that people struggle with emotionally or mentally are quite physical for me. I was not even going to talk about MS on this new blog site, but I can’t talk about myself without mentioning what I have become because of my journey.

I am patient. When it takes as much time and energy to get places as it does me, not much can take more frustration, not even a husband who is running late or a toddler who wants to know for the 20th time what, exactly, that is over there.

I am compassionate. I know what it is like to be deemed as unable, unfit. Unworthy, even. But it is people who may just appear or feel that way in themselves that I am drawn to. Empathy is sometimes too strong a trait in me, but I have learned through my lifetime (and it has taken that long) how not to cling so tightly to emotions others are feeling. Instead of feeling the emotions with them, I can help or do something. But that is what my empathy and compassion work together for.

I am strong. Physically, I can’t do much. But emotionally, I must. When one is undergoing as much frustration over circumstances, she can either give up, or be strong. There is no middle ground. People have told me “what an inspiration” I am, and I see the same in some of my friends who are undergoing similar circumstances. We have God. In our weaknesses, he makes us strong.

When I was in 9th grade, I decided that my life verse would be 2 Corinthians 12:9, “But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.” This verse has held me together when things have been stuck between a rock and a hard place. It has lent me courage when all I wanted to do was stay in bed.

We are never told what Paul’s thorns are. He writes to the Corinthians that God gave him the thorn “in order to keep [him] from becoming conceited” (v 7). There IS beauty in our thorns. God works out everything for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28), and He has shown me repeatedly that He will always supply exactly what I need (Philippians 4:19).

I have two blogs, and not talking about MS is what was going to separate them. But, I guess like Bruce Banner, I just need to embrace my Hulk. This IS a new season in life. The MS is here and has made me who I am thus far. Whatever other thorns come my way will just shape me into who I am this next season.

Blessings, friends!

Anna

How have you seen beauty in your own thorns?



Season with Salt

“Thank you, God, for this food, for this day, and I pray that you bless both before us, amen.”

“Mama, and pray for my baby unicorn.”

“And thank you, Jesus, that Lydia’s baby unicorn can watch her eat and play with her after lunch.”

“And pray for my sunglasses,” she added, seeing them on the table.

“And thank you, Lord, that Lydia has sunglasses to play with and wear when it’s sunny outside.”

“Pray for…the salt.” I smiled because the salt and pepper were still on the table from supper the night before. This girl likes her salt.

“Jesus, I pray that you make us the salt of the earth, and that Lydia will live that out before she even knows what it means. Amen.”

“And pray—”

“Nope, we’re done. Let’s eat!”

I drew this back in 2017 with marker. It’s one of my favorites! (But it bled through the page because I hadn’t learned how to prep my page yet. But that’s alright. Seeing the salt shaker on the other side of the page just makes me smile and turn the page!

I entertain her requests, as I want to enforce that we can pray about anything, any time, anywhere. Sometimes I ask her to repeat after me and say the prayer herself, but “it’s just easier if mama does it.” Insert eye roll and shoulder shrug here. She’s two.

I recalled this conversation with Lydia when the following day, passages about salt kept coming to mind.

Matthew 5:13, “You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled underfoot.”

Colossians 4:6, “Let your conversation be always full of grace, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how to answer everyone.”

But what does that mean? I have been hung up on that passage from Colossians before. What is “seasoned with salt?”

My go-to site for commentaries is BibleHub, because you can read a bunch right together. Among the Greeks, salt may be in reference to wit, pleasantry. “Food for thought” is a term that comes from there, too, describing the thought as pleasant, savory, nourishing. In the Bible, though, salt is referencing both ” the power of Christ’s grace, banishing all impurity of motive, and all uncleanness of allusion” (Cambridge) and the aforementioned salt that adds savory flavor. Barnes’ Notes continues, saying that “our conversation should be seasoned with piety or grace in a way similar to that in which we employ salt in our food. It makes it wholesome and palatable.” Does that mean we should always be talking about religious matters? By no means! Just as over-salting an already-yummy food kinda gives it more of a bite, our seasoning needs to be just enough to add the enhancement it needs.

This picture is similar to a poster I bought in college. It has graced many a dorm room, and now it’s in Lydia’s room. As Lydia grows up, maybe we can talk about being salt and light. I want her to be the girl who prays out loud for her friends at school and can build others up with more confidence than I ever had back then. Raising children is never easy. Goodness, no. And I only have one! But if we remember to keep our parenting seasoned with salt as well, we can give our kids the flavor that we hope they like best: the fruit of love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control (Galations 5:22-23a).

Blessings, friends!

Anna

Cry Out to Jesus: Ponderings and Art

As I had an annoying night of insomnia this week, I did a lot of thinking. (What else do you do when you can’t sleep?) Earlier that day, my two-year-old had made me cry. Again. I cried to my husband, who talked me down, and I cried to my mom, who gave some advice for parenting this child who is too much like her mother. As I was thinking back about this drawing I ad done the previous week, I realized I hadn’t cried out to the Lord, when He should have been my first go-to.

In the book of Judges, the Israelites went through this terrible cycle of disobedience, disaster,distress, and deliverance. The people would forsake the Lord, so He allowed disaster. In their disaster (handing the people over to their enemies), the Israelites cried out to the Lord, who in turn would raise up judges to save them. Judges 2:18 reports, “Whenever the Lord raised up a judge for them, he was with the judge and saved them out of the hands of their enemies as long as the judge lived.” Verse 19 goes on, “but when the judge died, the people returned to their ways even more corrupt than those of their ancestors.” And the cycle went on and on, worsening as it continued.

This first drawing is in the margins near Judges 3:9-10, “But when they cried out to the Lord, he raised up for them a deliverer. . . The Spirit of the Lord came down on him, so that he became the first judge and went to war.”

I obviously traced Charlie Brown, as well. And added touches with colored pencil. I decided to leave him in his original trademark outfit. Everyone needs to cry out to the Lord and tell Him what is up, even though He already knows. God just wants to hear from you. That’s right, normal, everyday Charlie Brown. Normal, every day, you and me.

It then made me think back to where more of God’s people cried out to him. I’ve been Bible art journaling for years, so I must have done some other entries in relation to this. Like in 1 Samuel 1, when Hannah cries out to the Lord because she just wants a son. She promised to give her son back to the Lord, and He heard her plea. When Samuel had been weaned, Hannah brought him to the house of the Lord and to Eli. “Pardon me, my lord,” she begins is 1 Samuel 1:27. “As surely as you live, I am the women who stood here beside you praying to the Lord. I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”

I drew this with black colored pencil, I believe. Looks a little heavy to be a regular lead pencil. If only we all were to follow through on our promises made to God in the heat of a moment! Because of her faithfulness, Hannah bore five more children after Samuel: three sons, and two daughters. “And the boy Samuel grew in the presence of the Lord” (1 Samuel 2:21).

We remember God’s promise to us in a psalm David, Psalm 30:5b, “Weeping may tarry for the night, but joy comes with the morning” (ESV). I made an entry for this paassage in both of my journaling Bibles:

This first drawing is in my first Bible, where I freely used the whole page. This was in the early stages of my Bible art journaling experience, before I yet knew how much a date mattered to my entries. I believe this was done early 2015. I freehanded this, using marker for the hoodie and words, and colored pencil for everything else. The girl who is cryihg on the left is a self-image. The bold and very contrasting pages demonstrate what a large contrast the night and day can be; grief versus joy.

This image, done about a year later, is more of a pastel and lighter feel, without such intense emotion and contrast. The text and the outline of the sun is in pen, but I was pleased with how the colored pencils covered enough of the page to make a statement. Even though the dark night covered a corner, there are still lighter colors in the same line of the page, offering the hope of the morning that will be there sooner than it sometimes feels. It is interesting to me how at different stages of my life, the same text can draw out a different picture.

I am enjoying going back and looking into my Bible at past art entries I have done. I love how in God, there are so many infinite ways to express yourself. I did a lot of writing before I really got into the art journaling, but as I find myself drawing more, the writing has slowed. Which is okay. As long as I can express, I feel that my soul is satisfied.

Next time I’m really frusterated, instead of crying out to my friends, family, or my mom, I think I’ll cry out to Jesus first. He always helps me more than I realize I needed it. He knows. It’s just me that doesn’t.

Stay tuned for more ponderings and art! Blessings, friends!

Anna



Ponderings and Art: Acts 17

Bible Art Journaling. I started drawing in my bible in 2015 (yes, over the words!). That year, for my birthday, I received a Journaling Bible.

This drawing on the right was done in my first “defiled” Bible. My dad has always been a farmer, so I drew a wheat field. In all the colors of the wheat, I drew stick people. The harvest IS plentiful, but, as Jesus says in Luke 10:2, “the workers are few.”

Now, years later, as I art journal in my Bible, I reflect on why my drawing turn out the way they did. I thought I’d discuss my drawings and reflections on them here. I hardly ever reinvent the wheel, but I look on Pinterest and other places for ideas. Rarely do my drawings ever turn out the way I originally imagine. But I draw what comes out. And, as I was discussing some of my recent Bible art with my aunt, I realized that things don’t “just happen.” They never do when God is involved. And so today, I’ll discuss something I did in my journaling bible a few weeks ago:

I trace a lot of things that go in my Bible. I can’t free hand something like this! In Acts 17, Paul is talking to the Athenians, who have many gods and idols, even one plaque “to the unknown god.” So Paul tells them about this God of his who is unknown to the Athenians. He speaks to these heathens about the Pantheism they believe in, referencing words they probably already knew in relation to the One True God. “In him we live and move and have our being.”

But I left the ballerina black. In the physical state, I cannot move like this. But in my spiritual state, I dance in circles, on my toes, with leaps and bounds. I am limited in the earthly realm where my “body is subject to death because of sin”, but as Romans 8:10 continues, “If Christ is in you . . . the Spirit gives life because of righteousness.” Verse 11 goes on, “And if the Spirit of him who raised Jesus from the dead is living in you, he . . . will also give life to your mortal bodies because of his Spirit.”

I could have colored this ballerina in a bright color, but I left it black. My hope is in the Lord, that “our current sufferings are not worth comopring with the glory that will be revealed in us” (v 18). We here living in the earthly realm, “groan inwardly as we wait eagerly

If You Give a Mom a Muffin

My two-year-old LOVES the books by Laura Numeroff: “If You Give a Mouse a Cookie,” “If you Give a Pig a Pancake,” “If you Give a Moose a Muffin,” etc, etc. (There’s lots of them!) On my own, I’ve been reading the book, “What Every Mom Needs,” by Elisa Morgan and Carol Kuykendall. Fantastic read, especially for moms of littles. Anyway, in their book, they included the poem that I’ll share with you below, by Kathy Fictorie.

Finding it way too good to keep it to myself, I thought I’d post it on here. I hope the rest of you enjoy more than a nibble of your breakfast muffins in the morning!

Anna

 
If you give a mom a muffin, she’ll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She’ll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She’ll wipe it up.

Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She’ll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she’ll trip over boots and bump into the freezer.

Bumping into the freezer will remind her she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She’ll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.)

The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook.

The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She’ll smell something funny. She’ll change the two-year-old.
 
While she is changing the two-year-old, the phone will ring. (Of course!) Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She’ll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee.
 
Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it.

Kathy Fictorie

 

Settling In

I guess my last blog was a sure sign I’d hit a rut. I didn’t realize it until some new friends started reaching out to me. I wrote another post on my other blog because it talks about the MS that hinders me (something I don’t want to talk about in this one). My attitude was definitely higher in that post. You can check it out here.

Anyway, our house looks lived in! We are just finishing up the master bedroom and bathroom. I have declared my bathroom my “War Room.” So basically, I have prayers and Bible verses posted all over. And my husband is totally okay with it. “Where else are you going to put it?” he shrugs. There will be a ramp put up, hugging our garage, next week! We have a welcome bucket on our door filled with silk flowers Doug had put there back in 2014. (It’s a beautiful bouquet, and if you’re ever in Pikeville, Kentucky, check out Levi’s Floral!)

Doug is home with us until he starts work the last week of June. It’s been so fun, and Lydia and I have been a little bit spoiled, but it’ll be hard once work starts. He will do some orientation before his first rotation starts, but he has yet to learn his schedule. I have in mind to get Lydia involved in things so that she’s too busy to miss her daddy. I mean, she’ll still miss him, but at least she’ll have fun, right?

I guess I wrote this blog to assure you readers, that I’m okay. I can say with confidence that we definitely have friends here. Our first official non-family guests are coming tomorrow! Should be fun!

Peace,

Anna M.

We Will Make Friends Here

We are unpacking our house the exact opposite we packed it. Walking in, we look all moved in, with the house decorated inside and everything just the way it’ll be. Our priority was Lydia’s room, the kitchen, and the living room. Our room is the next closest to being done, but please don’t open the door to that spare bedroom. Just making that clear to all my new friends who will be over to visit. I haven’t made any yet, but I WILL make friends here!

We’d found a church before we even moved to town, and Doug met with a pastor of theirs when he was in town looking for a place to rent. And we prayed. We have now attended three services and love this church, which is toned down a little from our former church (more Midwestern), but where the Spirit is just as alive! Unfortunately, most small groups don’t meet over the summer. We’ll still find a way to get involved! We will make friends here.

I went to the last area Mops meeting of the school year, and am excited for our weekly summer play dates to begin! (There’s been a few weeks of overlap with nothing, as preschool and kindergarten kids graduate, end-of-the-year class parties, etc.) It has sure felt like a long time to me. But, Lydia and I WILL make friends here!

Doug and Lydia went out and about around our neighborhood on Monday, passing out cookies and meeting our neighbors. My number was given out to a few ladies, and Doug even exchanged numbers with a few of the guys on our street. We will make friends here.

Doug starts work in less than a month. Half the months of his first year or rotations will be wards– Lydia and I won’t see much of him then. But my plan is to get Lydia involved and active in activities, to keep her mind off not seeing her daddy as much as she has this month. By then, we’ll have made enough friends that Lydia will see some most days, right? Because we will make friends here!

In the meantime, I have been praying for the friends we’ll make. I pray a blessing over our relationship and a unity that Satan can’t mess with. I pray for Christian relationships for Doug, myself, and Lydia, too. I pray that we will like it here as much as we liked the home we just moved from (which is a LOT). I pray that the relationships here will be just as strong, if not stronger. I very much value all the relationships I’ve made in Kentucky, South Dakota, and Minnesota, but I pray that the best is still yet to come. We WILL make friends here, and it will be wonderful.

Anna M.

*All pictures were taken off the internet and I have no copyright to any of them.

My Espresso Love

My strong drink of choice is my morning brew. to strengthen it, add more espresso!

I gave up coffee after Lydia was born, because I didn’t like what it was doing to my post-partum body. I’d drink it every once in a while for a treat. Honestly, coffee shops are my biggest weakness. But I will not buy coffee from a coffee shop for myself during residency. Doug and I have this cool coffee set-up. I don’t have an espresso machine, but I have an AeroPress, which makes espresso. I can make an awesome espresso with half the chocolate (so you can taste more espresso). Since we’ve moved in, I’ve been doing decaff and half-caff, if not just plain hot chocolate. Trying to avoid that caffeine dependence. “I’ll just do half caff,” I thought to myself this morning. So instead of two shots of espresso, I make four. But two of them are decaff. Oh my goodness. I totally think I’ve changed my mind on not drinking coffee or another type of caffeine regularly. I mean this morning, for example, it took my dragging self and totally helped me mom.

In my new kitchen, there is a peninsula/breakfast bar. Next to a row of pretty mugs (which change which ones are featured due to which ones are clean): coffee pot, food scale, and AeroPress (the latter one in pieces). All of this (pictured right) is next to a microwave, and there’s a kettle on the other side of the sink. And Doug drinks coffee on occasion now, too– something he didn’t when he started med school. So that’s cool.

My recipe for a homemade mocha (given to me by my mother): Measure on food scale 8 oz milk and 16 grams chocolate (this is half the chocolate; may use dark chocolate syrup for extra tastiness when it is available). Stir together and microwave for 1:23. Make 1-4 shots of espresso in mug, add chocolate milk. Stir. Enjoy. May repeat as often as desired (although it I do another, it really does have to be decaff!). For iced mocha, pour espresso and chocolate milk over ice. Add more ice until cold enough. Better not sip if you want to drink all the yummies before the ice melts! Lol.

Although I write this blog in fun, I am serious about a few things: 1) Setting up my new house has been such fun! There’s a whole peninsula of counter space in my new kitchen! 2) I’m definitely having another 4-shot espresso mocha in the near future. 3) People joke about drinking and parenting, but it only applies to me if it’s coffee. Anybody else?

Have a good one!

Anna

What is your favorite homemade coffee drink of choice, the one that kick-starts your mornings? You know, if you’re like me and on a budget?

Our Upcoming Move: A Poem

See the empty boxes slowly filling up my house,

As they fill, the stress will leave my spouse.

As the boxes are packed and stacked,

The question each day is how my toddler will act.

//

Secret packers Mom and Dad try not to upset toddler,

But she still gets cranky cuz chance is felt in the holler.

First part of the process we can keep it nice and hush,

But when the time gets closer, things will be in a rush.

//

See the filled up boxes slowly filling up my house;

The walls are bare, but the crumbs are for the mouse.

Minnie plays with toddler, while Daddy keeps on packing,

Stuff keeps disappearing, while boxes keep up stacking.

//

See the house get empty more, it kind of makes me sad,

Until I remember that our new house will make glad.

The move is coming very soon let’s think about the new;

I won’t dwell on what we’re leaving yet ‘cuz it’ll make me blue.

//

Target, Hy-Vee, Chick-fil-a, Caribou and mall,

Zoo and parks and apple orchard, South Side Church, and all.

New set up in house and home it will be so much fun;

Start out clean and empty and we’ll never quite be done!

//

Maybe this move won’t be so bad, it will be an adventure;

If we do things right enough it could even be our pleasure.

God will be there the whole time,

He’ll make sure we’re okay.

He’s our strength and guide and light, and with Him there’s a way.

//

We’re going where God wants us to, so it’ll be just fine.

There won’t be any mountains so the sun will way more shine.

God wants us there, so we’ll obey; we’ll follow his lead only.

We’ll settle in and make some friends, and we’ll shine His light boldly!

//

See the filled up boxes slowly filling my new house;

After we’re in, the stress will actually leave my spouse.

The place will feel some more like home as boxes get unpacked.

The question still hangs in the air how my toddler will act.

//

Say goodbye to holler but hello to avenue;

This town will be full of lots of things that to us will seem brand new.

After we’re there awhile we may have to move again,

But I don’t want to think about such a thing til then!

– Anna

(P.S. For context, read previous post, after which this was soon written.)